I'm Here

Sometimes I forget that it has taken me 8 long years to get to the point that I am at now. It has been a torturous road to get to a point where I no longer care about the opinions of others when I talk about my loss or stillbirth in general. And at times I admit that I forget that others aren't always on the same page as me and that it may take them time to get there too. Forgive me, it's part of being the fiery hot-headed Libran that I am. When I'm in, I'm all in.

There is nothing I want more desperately than for women, men and society in general to accept that stillbirth happens often... too often. Nothing more in the world I want than to know that other women going through what I have - do not feel alone.

What struck me tonight though was this... Why do I feel like everyone else has to listen; as well as me? Sometimes it only takes a few to care.

One person is alone, but two can have a conversation. I could talk to a wall... I often talk to myself. But I want every single person to know that if they want to talk, I am here. Tell me your story, tell me your frustrations, I will listen. I will be here while you cry and I'll still be there when you start smiling again. You are not in this alone.

The sad reality of stillbirth is that we all know we aren't on our own in it. We know the stats. We know there will be 2136 women lose a child this year, 6 today, 6 tomorrow and 6 the day after....  There will be 2136 men trying to cope with the loss and support their partners too. Not to mention their families and friends. That is a lot of people. But we don't know them all personally... We still feel isolated. 

If one person can take comfort in knowing that I am here, I am with you, and I support you in your loss, your grief and your roller coaster from here on wards... well that's good enough for me. 

By reaching out to each other first, starting the conversation and supporting each other we can begin to make a difference. We  can be there for each other and start to get rid of this loneliness. 

Next Sunday the 30th of April is International Bereaved mothers day. I ask that everyone spares a thought on this day for the mothers that have suffered a loss. I will be creating a small group via Facebook that will be invite only where we can at least chat and be there for each other and I promise to make myself available to be there for you all that evening. I will post the details over the weekend but in the meantime, if you or someone you know could use an ear, please get in touch... I have discovered that the Western Suburbs of Melbourne do not have a support group so hopefully that is something we can start to change.... 

Much love to you all xxx